I roll out of my little twin sized bed, Stumble across the room so I can hit the head. After that I leave my place and walk around, Because there's nothing to do in this shit little town.
But Ive got simpler things...
[have trouble writing. Im going home soon. It has been getting really hard to express myself, to describe how I am feeling...]
Band concert tonight, then to Rusko! My posts get more and more casual... So instead of creating material...
Ill just use another Death Cab for Cutie song.
So one last touch and then you'll go And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more But it was vile, and it was cheap and you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
"Most people imagine that a man suffers because out of the blue death snatches away the woman he loves. But his real suffering is less futile; it comes from the discovery that grief, too, cannot last. Even grief is vanity." -Caligula, Camus
Emotions are like lost history, important events at the time but eventually forgotten. This realization is a much greater, much more real suffering. In short, it is the realization that our emotions are worthless, that can brings us ultimate sorrow. That all my hurt feelings, that presumably measured the love lost, have no value. That the relationship, that the person lost, is worthless, like everyone else. Its easy to take a pessimistic view of this, But Caligula doesnt. He just accepts it as a truth.
"I had no excuses, not the shadow of a real love, neither bitterness nor profound regret. Nothing to plead in my defense! But today- you see me still freer than I have been for years; freed as I am from memories and illusion."
A new found freedom in the fact that nothing lasts. That even the memories of people fade away.
Regardless, I am sick of this thorn in my paw.
Just some thoughts. Here is a song.
[I like this song. Soko is hot too. And like always its moderately relevant to a portion of my emotions.]
